Thursday, November 24, 2016


I woke up to the sound of Allah Arkba, from the loud speaker of a nearby mosque.....there's no light here. The 'I pass my neigbhour' generators from other houses were so noisy, I thought we are leaving close to a construction site.

Just outside the compound a man with a megaphone is shouting on top of voice and threatening my life with his sermon....... "Jesus is coming soon, repent now! or go to hell and burn for eternity".

And that was how I stayed awake all morning listening to both the loudspeaker from the mosque, the preacher outside my door and the generators..... its was a terrible  morning. I got up at, took my bath, got dressed for the days activity.....its my second day in Lagos, I was invited for a job interview and I am feeling excited about it already.

 My friend Oghenetejiri was kind enough to accommodate me for the next few days. I left the house with confidence, mumbled some prayers to myself and hit the street. The streets was crowded, everybody seemed angry, too harsh, too loud and too fast. At the bus-stop, the shouts of different conductors calling for passengers was enormous ...."Obalende, Obalende one last chance"...." Mile2, Mile 2, two lucky nyansh"....."Oyingbo, Oyingbo, enter with your change oh, no change oh".

The interview was at Ikoyi, I saw the bus Oghenetejiri told me to board. I took a peep inside the bus and realised there were very few occupants inside, many seats were yet to be taken, but I humped in anyway.

In this Lagos, it seems there are more people selling something on the streets than there are buyers.
It takes like two buses to get to somewhere, and five to come back. I am beginning not to like this place. People talk to you in Yoruba.

 They don't care whether you understand or not. Conductors ask for money in Yoruba....."Owo da?" Passengers shout at you for not paying on time. They don't know that you don't understand Yoruba. They don't know that your mind is far far away. They don't care! An angry passenger is shouting at a conductor for her change......

(Passenger): "Conductor give me my change naw" (Conductor)......."Why u go give me N1000 for N50 moto? I no tell u say change no dey?" (Passenger)...."Abeg, give me my change joor, I dey come
down for next bustop oh"

The guy sitting next to me was staring at me as if I was an alien, I still don't know my offense.
Everywhere is dirty. Nobody apologizes for hitting you. You apologize and you get insulted. These people are not normal.

😂😂You ask for direction and they point that way. Halfway through you ask someone else and they point back to where you came from. I don't know if I am lost or not, I don't even know where I am. Udom told me it will take two buses to get to my destination......I have already boarded four buses and it looks like am still far away from my destination.

At a bus stop I saw a crippled guy walking with his butt, he is threatening to beat up a tall guy.......I heard a woman selling orange saying......."Dat tall boy nah yeye boy, nah so him dey do every time, nah agbero him be...make dem beat am well-well abeg". Just when I was wandering how that could be possible, the crippled guy, brought out a bottle of star and smashed it on the ground....."Your fada! I go burst dis bottle for ya head, bastard!".........Agbero "You no fit, dem no born you well!"

People were even holding the cripple and begging him to forgive and forget. I didn't wait to see how it ended. A guy wearing trousers and no shirt is controlling the traffic with a big stick in his hand. He's shouting at drivers and okadas. I smiled to myself, is he the traffic warden or what? How can that be? suddenly a guy brushed passed me accidentally with his shoulder, I turned to look at him
but he kept moving. Logasians are not smiling, nobody apologises for anything.

Three guys came to me and started hailing me, waving their hanker chief in my face......."baba oh, baba oh, senior man....senior man wey shooor die, tuale for our oga" I don't know why they were hailing me, but I ignored them all the same and moved on of them uttered "nothing dey him pocket sef, poor man" I was running late for the interview, I asked a lady selling recharge card to know were I was.
She said....." Ah brodaa, nah Boundary Round-About you dey for Ajegunle oh".
What? How did I get to Ajegunle when I am suppose to be at Ikoyi?

All of a sudden, people started running helter skelter, I don't understand why they were running, market women with goods on their heads were running, children hawking banana, those hawking gala, everybody was on the run........there was madness and pandemonium every where .......I don't see any reason why I should join them, after all,I didn't commit any offense. Then I saw a man, who
wore a black suit, black trouser and black tie, he dressed like a responsible bank manager ..........but his eyes were red with blood, he fixed his gaze fully on me, he doesn't seem to like me, he pointed at me and said in yoruba "e won?".... he started running towards me with a cutlass in his hand.

Some thing, one spirit ministered to me to run........and I took off, I ran for my dear life.......I didn't stop, I kept running and never stopped or looked back. I ran to the extent that people started staring at me again........"Oga why u dey run?" Some one asked? I Ignored him.

I didn't know I have been running for hours,I didn't know I have left the place of crisis into a new location. When I finally stopped, I managed to ask a passerby .........."Please sir,what's the name of this bus-stop".... "Ah, bros...nah Ikorodu you dey sooo" "Ikorodu ke? Where is Ikorodu?" I asked again...."Nah inside Lagos,but nah outskirt of Lagos".

I asked for directions back home, I don't think I can make the interview, its no longer possible, its already 3:45pm.........I dipped my hands in my pocket to see if the money in my pocket will be enough to take me back was gone! OMG! My phone too was gone.

Nothing! I am totally empty, how do I get home? How did I loose my money?
I remembered the guy staring at me in the bus. I remembered the guy that brushed passed me at the bus-stop. I remembered what those Agberos said at the bus-stop. I remembered this race. Then I remembered my village. Abeg, I am going back to the village, Lagos life don tire me. But how do I get home?

Like they always say "Eko onibaje" means "Lagos will not spoil"......for me oh, it has spoilt already and I am going back to the village.

Hell is real! And this place is the real HELLFIRE!!! going back to Delta State...

I saw this on facebook and I thought I should share...

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